Growing Pains by Romila

When I look at the patterns i find its deceiving
ive no problems giving but shy of recieving 
i do things i know that could lead to diseases
stuffing my face cos the need to eat pleases
still i keep smoking in spite of mself
fully aware of effects on my health
but knowing and doing are not quite the same
and when i dont make it i've got me to blame
so time and again i put myself down
reducing my smiles to a firmly fixed frown
and as i try so to patch up my heart
I get up  fall down then another restart
sometimes i'm strong then the energy lapses
and only too soon good intention collapses
I struggle and struggle to get back on my feet
and when i make it it does feel sweet
sparkling and bright the world seesms much clearer
little by little my healing gets nearer
fresh air and nature and plenty of rest
relaxed and refreshed life takes on a new zest
music and laughter and good friends around 
positive vibes and good feelings abound
and when on occassions scarey feelings slip back
Inner sureties tell me im still right back on track
Iknow I can do it Ill make it OK
I know i can do it im finding my way
Sit Back get in touch connections the secret
that inner  strenth is there if you want it
Its really not hard if you just can let go
and trust in the universe its lessons to show
Life is a journey for learning and growing
and for the future new seeds i am sowing